Relationship Therapy in South West London
Relationships are curious things – they can begin so well then suddenly change and no longer give the pleasure they once did. However, therapy can help to improve things between you.
At first when we meet someone we are attracted to we think they are wonderful, that they have all the qualities we really love. However, in time these qualities seem to fade and we feel angry and let down that the other person ‘has fallen off their pedestal – they seem not to be the person we first thought. The truth may be that they never had these qualities, never were that invented person that we wanted to believe in. The change is in fact in us not them.
Hopes and Expectations
What we hope for and expect in a relationship may be formulated by the relationships we grew up with. If in our family we had a controlling parent we may start a relationship with a controlling person in adult life. This can (unconsciously) seem comfortable at first but can in time leave us feeling unreasonably angry and frustrated with our partner.
Our early traumas can be re-enacted in our later relationships reawakening long forgotten painful feelings from the past which are nothing to do with our present relationship, but these may be acted out in a destructive way with our current partner.
It is worth remembering that no one is telepathic – it is not fair to assume that our partner knows what we are thinking unless we tell them. Communication is very important and is the basis for a sound relationship.
You may see repeating negative patterns in your relationships which cause them to end in disaster and you may fear that this will continue forever and you are probably right unless you address them. I can help you to assess what is going on between you and your partner and help you to resolve the difficulties you are having.